CHIP Tip No. 23: Help! My Family Isn't CHIP-Friendly
from PALM Health Promotion Director Susan Voigt-Reising

One of the most frequent concerns voiced by CHIP participants and alumni is, "My spouse isn't supportive of my CHIP food choices." Others have the same conflict with children, co-workers and friends.

Many report their loved ones seem angry with them for changing or upsetting long-time routines. Some share tales of relationships strained by ongoing spats about food. Others lament about family and friends who actively encourage them to abandon their lifestyle changes or tempt them with their old unhealthy favorites.

There's no doubt: It's a wonderful gift to be surrounded by others who embrace a healthy lifestyle or support you in your quest to do so. However, if don't have that situation in your household or life, here are some tips you can use to help yourself stay the course and keep the peace:

1. Be clear about your goals. Let your family members and friends know you have identified specific lifestyle changes to help you live a longer, healthier life. Tell them how important these changes are to you and why (lowered risk of cardiovascular disease, staving off diabetes, weight loss, living longer to enjoy grandchildren or retirement, etc.).

2. Enlist the help of those around you in supporting your new goals. Tell them how much it will mean to you to have their help. Be specific about what they can do, such as not offering you foods you have chosen to give up or limit, respecting the time you set aside for exercise, or understanding you are going to change some things about you—but not how you feel about them.

3. Establish a climate of mutual respect. Tell others you don't expect them to make the same changes, but let them know they are welcome to ask questions or join in. Likewise, respect the choices of others.

4. Invite an open dialogue about the changes you're making. Let your family and friends know their preferences are important to you, but that yours are equally important. Assert that compromise may be necessary as concerns arise.

5. If you're the cook in the family, be proactive about menus and meal preparation. In most households, the cook has a repertoire of 10 to 15 meals that are prepared over and over. Assess your current standards, listing them into four groups:
1) CHIP friendly
2) Can be made CHIP friendly with adjustments
3) Can be made both "as is" and CHIP friendly without making two completely separate meals
4) Not CHIP friendly
Bring your family into this discussion so they know where their favorite dishes fall and determine, without judgment, who's willing to try what. Keeping in mind the tips below, slowly evolve your repertoire to be as CHIP-friendly as possible.

6. Meet others halfway. Each week make at least one meal in the "3" category, adding meat, cheese, salt and other less CHIP-friendly ingredients to only the portions served to your non-CHIP family members. Each week, also make something in the "2" category to give family members a chance to sample a new take on an old favorite. Always invite feedback and appreciate them for their willingness to try something new.

7. Prepare plenty of CHIP-approved food for you. When cooking for you alone or preparing in advance (like cooking on the weekend for weekday meals), make CHIP-friendly foods in ample quantities. Mixed greens, whole wheat pastas, rice, beans, fresh or grilled veggies and whole fruit can be combined to make endless tasty combos in a flash for a portable lunch or to eat when other family members are dining or snacking on non-CHIP foods.

8. Encourage family members to sample your CHIP-friendly foods. (If your repertoire is light on category "1", try a new CHIP-friendly dish each week.) Note which ones are well-received and make them part of your evolving repertoire.

9. Avoid "CHIP fatigue." Occasionally make a family favorite that is not CHIP-friendly or eat out at a restaurant where each of you can get what you want. But don't succumb to pressure to eat something you don't want to! Instead, make yourself an easy CHIP meal or order a CHIP-friendly entrée and politely insist that you must be true to your commitments to you.

10. Celebrate your successes! Appreciate when your family members try new foods or support your needs in your lifestyle changes. When you get those great results—improved lipids, lowered blood pressure, normal glucose reading, weight loss—share your success with your loved ones and thank them for their ongoing help in making it possible.